Random Keeper Reacts
by ilikethemsalty
Summary: These are some random kotlc reacts I wrote. Some are moderately funny and others are complete crap. Read at your own risk...
1. Hamburgers

_**Disclaimer**_:_ I DO NOT own Keeper of the Lost Cities; all rights belong to Shannon Messenger except for characters or things I made up myself. I simply wrote this for fun. I am not Shannon Messenger. Oh, and another thing? I am not Shannon Messenger.  
_

**_React to Hamburger_**

**Keefe:** Ooh, sounds cool! What is it?

**Sophie:** Ummm, you'll see. *brings in a plate full of hamburgers*

**Keefe: **Mmm. Looks delish! Can I try one?

**Sophie: **Uh, I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Keefe...

**Keefe: **WHY NOT?! LET ME TRY A HAMBURGER!

**Sophie: **Are. You. Sure? *sideyes Keefe*

**Keefe: **Yeah... why?

**_Dex appears. _**

**Dex: **Hey, what's everyone doing?**  
**

**Keefe: **TRYING HAMBURGERS!

**Dex: ***flails arms around and shrieks* YOU ARE A BLOODTHIRSTY VAGRANT, KEEFE! *swears in Spanish* *light leaps away*

**Sophie: **HEY! *narrows eyes* I didn't know Dex was capable of such dirty language...

**Keefe: **Huh. I wonder why he did that?

**Sophie: **Because... *gulps* Hamburgers are...

**Keefe: **DELICIOUS! *pops one in mouth* MMMMM!

**Sophie: **Uh...

**Keefe: ***with mouth full* What is it?

**Sophie: ***bites lip* Hamburgers... are made of meat. Like, beef.

**Keefe: ***vomits hamburger and runs away screaming*

**Sophie: **Most of them, anyway. *eagerly tears up hamburger and winks* But he doesn't have to know that these were veggie burgers! Hehe.


	2. Sotam

**A/N: My penname is Cary Swirls, (what? I like swirls... yeah, not the most creative penname, I know) so in this react, let's just shorten it to Cary.  
**

**_React to Sotam_**

**Tam: **This is a joke, right?

**Sophie: ***is laughing hysterically* Yeah! *frowns when there is silence* Wait... Do you mean to tell me that... we're... a thing?

**Cary: **YEP! Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!

**Sophie: **Are you always this pumped up to see a kiss happen?

**Cary: **YESSSSS!

**Sophie: **I think we should get Elwin...

**Cary: **NO! Move on with the React! The readers are waiting! I can't type out an endless argument! Besides, *smirks* you don't want to see the punishments I've concocted for those who disobey the Reacts!

**Sophie: **Ugh, I bet we should trust her on that. That writer is _evil. _

**Tam: **I think all writers are. It's in their blood.

**Cary: **You got that right, Bangs Boy!

**Tam: **...

**Cary: **OK! Pretend I'm not here. Just go about your business as usual.

**Sophie: ***hopefully* So we don't have to kiss anymore?

**Cary: **No, you still do! Get on with it!

**Sophie: **Ugh. Fine. I guess I _am _getting bored. So, uh, what do we do?

**Cary: **Okay. Here, I'll help. *wraps Sophie's limp arm around Tam's shoulder* There. Now Tam, just lean closer to Sophie, and you know what to do?

**Tam: **What?

**Cary: **Seriously? Haven't you ever kissed anybody?

**Tam: **Exillium had a no relationship policy.

**Cary: **Ahhh. Okay. Well, um, I don't really know how to explain it in words. Just put your lips on top of Sophie's. Yeah, just like that... Okay.

**Tam: ***looking uncomfortable* Seriously? *fidgets but holds the kiss*

**Sophie: ***pulls away* Okay, does that count?

**Cary: **Uggggggh. Fine, I guess. 'Bye for this react! *rubs hands together maniacally* But next time, it'll be way steamier.

**Tam and Sophie: ***rush to teleport away from the madness*


	3. Sophitz

_**React to Sophitz**_

**Fitz:** *looks at the title and smiles hopefully* Does this involve kissing?

**Cary: **Edaline was right. Boy are you smitten. *shakes head*

**Fitz: ***blushes* You didn't answer my question.

**Cary: ***smiles kindly* ...No.

**Fitz: ***swings knuckles furiously* BUT TAM GOT A TURN! WHY CAN'T I HAVE ONE, TOO? I NEED TO KISS HER IF WE'RE EVER GOING TO GET MARRIED, AND LIVE AT EVERGLEN, AND GET A GUINEA PIG AND NAME IT SHERMAN! *blushes as he realizes what he said*

**Cary: **...Freaky.

**Sophie: ***teleports to scene* Uh, is everything okay? Fitz, you look like you lost a quarter and found... nothing.

**Cary: **Yep. He's mad that Tam got to kiss you. Chill, Golden Boy. Everyone gets a turn. I'm fair.

**Fitz: ***flushes when Sophie looks at him appraisingly* Uh, er, oh, I... *is at a loss for words*

**Sophie: **Fitz, it's okay. We'll get our moments, too. Despite all the darkness and goth brought into this world by a _certain somebody,_ *Cary scowls* we will prevail anyways and bring the light back in.

**Fitz: **...You're right, Sophie. Also, when did you get so inspirational? *eyebrows narrow suspiciously*

**Sophie: ***flushes and nervously pulls eyelashes out* I, uh, got an AI writer for my speeches.

**Fitz: **WHAT? SO ALL THIS TIME, WHEN WE WERE ABOUT TO FACE THE NEVERSEEN OR SOMETHING DANGEROUS AND POTENTIALLY LIFE-THREATENING, YOU USED AN AI WRITER SO YOU COULD INSPIRE US? AND YOU MADE US THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY YOU!

**Sophie: ***triumphantly glares at Fitz* You're using one now, too! HA! The irony...

**Fitz: **Noooooooooooooooooooooo, I'm not...

**Cary: ***jumps back in conversation* She's right, you know. *high fives Sophie*

**Sophie and Cary:** Girl power!

**Cary: **Time to kiss, smitten lovers. *winks* This is your moment, Fitzy Boy. _Don't_ ruin it. *narrows eyes*

**Fitz: ***nods seriously* I won't let you down, Cary. *takes Sophie's hand and sighs.* I have to get this off my chest... Sophie, I love you!

**Sophie: **Um, isn't this moving way too fast? Cary? Cary, help!

**Cary: **Yeah, Fitz, maybe tone it down a notch. You were freaking me out earlier. I mean, who decides they're going to mar-

**Fitz: ***flushes and looks down at feet* Don't you dare say it!

**Cary: **Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. *snaps fingers and the couple falls on a couch on a random iceberg.* Snuggle up, buttercups.

**Fitz and Sophie: ***enthusiastically snuggle on the couch.*

**Cary: **NOW, LOVEBIRDS!

**Fitz and Sophie:** *snog passionately*

**Cary: **_That's_ more like it! I didn't know you had it in you, Sophie!

**Sophie: **Is this react over? *hides face in hands, embarrassed* *shivers* Also, can we go somewhere else? I'm wearing short sleeves right now!

**Cary: ***nods* Sure. Let's go get some cinnacreme, too. *rubs hands together* Aaaaaaaaand I can get the latest dirt on Fitzphie. Also, Sophie, are you ever going to get a guinea pig?


	4. Stuffed Toy

_**Reacts to Stuffed Toy**_

**Cary: **OK, so today we'll be reacting on stuffed toys!

**Fitz: **We already have them and know what they are.

**Cary: **I know! I just tried to think of something totally random, and this popped up in my head!

**Fitz: ***shrugs and tosses Mr Snuggles in the air, giggling when he comes back down*

**Cary:** Dude, you are a child at heart.

**Fitz: ***giggles* I know.

**Cary: ***stares at Fitz worriedly* O-kay. So, anyway, EVERYONE GET YOUR STUFFIES!

**Sophie: **I have Ella!

**Fitz: **Mr Snuggles is right here, reporting for duty!

**Keefe: **Here's Mrs Stinkbottom!

_***silence except for crickets chirping***_

**Cary: **Is that everyone?

**Keefe: ***sadly* Looks like it. Nobody really wanted to join our stuffy club.

**Cary: **Aww, man! This react is a dud!

**Sophie: **NO, IT ISN'T! FOR ALL STUFFYKIND! *orders Sandor to bring more goblins and starts a march through the Lost Cities* STUFFYLOVERS UNITE!

**Cary: **YASSS! THIS ISN'T A DUD AFTER ALL! *grabs own stuffy* What? Anyone can have stuffed animals! I'M PROUD OF IT, OKAY?! *marches with mob*


	5. Legacy (cue the OMGs)

**A/N: This one's for LEGACY, which is coming out TOMORROW! *squeals and giddily jumps up and down* It's also the longest react I've ever written!  
**

**_React to Legacy_**

**Cary: **Omg, omg, omg! *squeals and starts to chant* Legacy! Legacy! Legacy!

**Sophie: **What're you chanting?

**Cary: **LEGACY! LEGACY! LEGACY!

**Sophie: **That's not an answer.

**Cary: **_LEGACY! LEGACY! LEGACYYYYYYY! _

**Sophie: **I think I should call the mental hospital-

**Cary: ***wild eyed* I'M FINE! *rasps* *eyes have bags*

**Sophie: **Uh, Cary, are you getting enough sleep?

**Cary: **NO! Why would I be? *does a jig to stay awake* *mumbles* I need more coffee.

**Sophie: **... *calls the rest of the crew* *whispers* _I think she's going crazy._

**Cary: **I'm not crazy, who's crazy, well it's not me! *glugs ten cups of black coffee*

**Sophie: **YOU GUYS HAVE GOTTA COME _RIGHT NOW!_

_**The Keeper Crew arrives**_

**Dex: **What's the emergency?

**Cary: **LEGACY IS COMING OUT TOMORROW! AGGGGGHHH!

**Sophie: ***whispers* We need to quarantine her.

**Cary: **LEMME GO!

**Fitz and Keefe: **Sorry, Cary, this is for your own good. *drag Cary to a large building filled with crazy fangirls*

**Fangirl 1#: **LEGACYYYYYYY IS COMING OUT! CAN YOU GUYS FREAKING BELIEVE IT?! ALSO, WE NEED MORE COFFEE IN SECTOR A!

**Fangirl 2#: **YASSS, I KNOW, RIGHT?!

**Biana: ***winces* Guys, are you sure we have to bring Cary here? It's kind of a madhouse, and she's our friend...

**Cary: **GUYS, GUYS! *screams at fangirls* DID YOU HEAR THAT?! BIANA VACKER CALLED ME HER FRIEND!

**_Fangirls gather around the crew as a horde_**

**Fangirl 1#: **Omg, YOU GUYS ARE THE KEEPER CREW! KISS ME, KEEFE!

**Keefe: ***backs away slowly* Um, I know I'm hot, but please keep your hands to yourselves...

**Fangirl 2#: **MARRY ME, FITZ!

**Fitz: **NO WAY! MY HEART BELONGS TO SOPHIE AND ONLY SOPHIE!

**Sophie: ***blushes* Aw, Fitz.

**Fangirl 1# and Fangirl 2#: **Wow, never meet your book idols. It's always a disappointment.

**Fangirl 3#: **CHAAAAAAAARGE! Also, Dex, are you single?

**Dex: ***hides in a corner*

**Fangirl 4#: **Tam, when are you going to officially hook up with Biana?

**Cary: ***cries*

**Tam: **...

**Fangirl 3#: **TO ARMS, FANGIRLS! WE WILL FORCE THEM TO BECOME OUR FRIENDS AND DEX WILL LEARN TO LOVE ME!

**Biana: **See, guys? They're crazy! We'd basically be murderers if we left Cary here!

**Sophie: **Yeah, let's get the heck outta here!

**_The Keeper Crew and Cary leave_**

**Cary: ***calms down and speaks almost completely rationally* Sooo, REACT!

**Keefe: **To Legacy? Oh, yeah... Ya know, I hope Foster claims my heart in Legacy so the fangirls'll _back off! _*glares at fangirls in the prison cells, whimpering*

**Fitz: **Well, in Flashback Sophie almost kissed me and we're together, but the fangirls didn't care. Keefe, I don't think they care if you were dating Sophie or Cary-

**Cary: **Uh, no offense, Keefe, but you're not really my type. I like dark, handsome strangers. *winks at Tam, sighing* *mumbles* The impossible love.

**Keefe: **Yeah, you're not really my type, either. I like girls with alicorn DNA better. *winks at Sophie*

**Dex: **Real subtle, you two.

**Cary and Keefe: ***blush and look at the floor*

**Tam: **You know, Cary, I guess you are pretty sweet, but how would we do long-distance?

**Cary: ***sadly* I know, Tam... You in a book and I in real life... it just won't work out...

**Tam: **I guess we'd just have to settle for being friends for now. *loops arm around Cary*

**Cary: **Sure, friends. *inwardly exploding and yelling 'OMG, TAM AND I ARE FRIENDS NOW!'*

**Sophie: **Sorry, Keefe, I'm still deciding between you and Fitz.

**Fitz: **WAIT, WHAT?! SOPHIE, WHAT?!

**Sophie: ***flushes and scrambles to say something* I mean, uh, I, uh, am with Fitz. Um, yeah.

**Cary: **OMG, everyone quickly get your wallets ready 'cause LEGACY IS OUT TOMORROW! *squeals and cries, hugging Tam*

**Tam: ***awkwardly pats Cary on the back, blushing* ...

**Cary: ***cries* Sorry, Tam. It's just... it's just... you and Biana are probably going to get together in Legacy! It's gonna happen eventually! I can't lie to myself any longer! *glances at you* Oops. Sorry for the emotional display. I'm always like this with new books and the handsome strangers getting taken...

**Biana: **TMI.

**Cary: **Duly noted... Sooooo, react _over!_


	6. Babysitting

**A/N: Hi, just thought I'd reply to the reviews! I didn't expect my reacts to get one, let alone 8, but it did! (Imma just reply to the reviewers in one paragraph each, even tho some wrote more than one- but I will reply to the multiple ones in that one paragraph.)**

**bookbedhead101: Thanks so much! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed my react!**

**LegacyLover: Thank you for reviewing! Ikr, I was super excited, like, I kept checking the mail for Legacy, :D. Lol, yes, the fangirls are coming for Keefe. I don't think he'll ever truly be free of them, XD. **

**Soohie Foster: Thanks for reviewing! Your review made me glow! I don't think my writing's that good, but thank you! And, yes; STUFFYS FOR LIFE! I totally agree with that notion. Yep, I'm going to continue to update Through the Cracks.  
**

**Wonderland A.K.A Cay-Cay: Hey, thank you for reviewing! I knew Tam might be a bit shipless in Legacy bc of his kinda-kidnapping and all... :( But, anyways, thanks! I try, tho humor doesn't usually come naturally for me. **

**Lucy Auburn: Hi! Thanks for leaving a review! I definitely was a little concerned about how legal FanFiction might be when I first started out, BUT, as long as you make sure the readers know you're not the author, AND if you're not writing a fanfic to a book the authors who clearly state they don't want allowed, (which is a very short list) it is perfectly legal! And, again, if you're following the rules, then reacts are perfectly legal, too.  
**

**_React to Babysitting_**

**Sophie: ***looks up and reads react title* How refreshing.

**Keefe: ***glances up from eating mallowmelt* Hmm, what?

**Sophie: **Babysitting. Ya know. Don't elves have to, like, hire babysitters every once in a while? Or...?

**Keefe: **For what? Sitting on babies? Humans really do have death wishes.

**Sophie: ***rolls eyes* Noooo, Keefe! It means someone just looks after babies and kids until their parents can.

**Keefe: **Ohhhhhh, yeah, that probably makes more sense. But, uh... *shrugs* I wouldn't know, Foster. I'm an only child, 'member?

**Sophie: **Yeah, let's call Dex. He has triplet siblings; he'll definitely know! *hails Dex*

**_Dex appears_**

**Dex: **Um, hi. What's the 'important question?' *makes quotation marks in the air* I was kinda busy.

**Keefe: **Techno-Boy, can you tell us if elves babysit?

**Dex: **Babysitting? Well, um, what does that mean? Sitting on babies or is that figurative speech?

**Sophie: **Figurative speech. A babysitter is someone who looks after kids and babies while their parents are busy. Usually, they're also paid.

**Dex: **Oh! Well, not officially I don't think, but my parents ask me to look after the triplets all the time. They never pay me. *sighs wistfully and looks into the distance* Anyways, are we done here?

**Cary: ***pops into view, licking a popsicle* Yep.

**Sophie: **Hey! Where were you for the duration of this react?! I mean, aren't you usually the first one to arrive?

**Cary: **Not this time, hun. *glares at the wall* Had to fight in an arena to the death for the last popsicle. My preciousss! *licks popsicle and glares protectively*

**Sophie: **But isn't it winter- *stops when Cary glares* Okayyyyyy.

**Cary: ***smiles and continues to lick popsicle* *watch bleeps* Welp, now it's the last brownie. See ya, guys!

**Sophie: **Whaa?

**Cary: ***disappears into thin air, shouting 'Step away from the brownie and no one gets hurt!'*

**Sophie: ***shrugs* Well, I guess the react's over then.


	7. Farm

**A/N: Well hi there! Wow, it's been awhile. *flips through reacts* yeesh. Anyways, I was bored and wrote a react so I thought I'd upload it!**

* * *

_**React to: Farm **_

**Biana:** What is... farm?

**Cary**: Haha, nice one!

**Biana:** *blinks*

**Cary:** *is stunned* Woah, okay. You really don't know what a farm is... *calls the rest of Keeper crew* Guys, Code Red, Biana doesn't know what a farm is.

**Keefe:** Excuse me but I don't know what one is either. Could someone please enlighten the clueless peeps here?

**Sophie:** Well since the gnomes do everything here there's no need for a farm. Fitz, you know what one is, right?

**Fitz:** Yeah, I stumbled across a few during the Epic Search.

**Everyone:** The what?

**Fitz:** Ya know. When I was looking for Soph.

**Sophie:** Um, I wasn't aware that you named it.

**Fitz:** *scratches neck nervously*

**Sophie and Fitz:** *have a staredown*

**Tam:** Er, not to intrude, but seriously- what the heck is a farm?

**Cary:** Ya know- a- you know what- *stops suddenly* *smiles maniacally.*

**Linh:** Oh no.

**Tam:** She's got that look on her face.

**Dex:** The one that means she's got an idea... usually a bad one...

**Cary:** Why don't we go visit a farm? *rubs hands together*

_***an hour later***_

**Linh:** Awww! I wanna ride the hornless unicorns! They're so CUTE! *squeals*

**Cary:** *corrects* They're _horses_.

**Tam:** *pretends not to be interested* *looks around to make sure nobody is looking* Eeeh! *pets baby duck*

**Biana:** Eww, the mud.

**Dex:** Ooh what's this thingy?

**Cary:** It's a tractor.

**Dex:** Ooooh! What does it do?

**Cary**: It-

**Dex:** *gets in and turns it on* *steers it through grass*

**Cary:** ...Nevermind.

**Biana**: *rolls in mud with pigs*

**Cary:** Wait but you were just-

**Biana**: *creepily intoned* I am one of them now. *rolls in mud robotically*

**Cary:** Um, okay...

**Keefe:** Foster, c'mere!

**Sophie:** What is it, Keefe?

**Keefe:** Check this out! *stands up on hay bale and does a handspring*

**Sophie:** KEEFE SENCEN, YOU GET DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

**Keefe:** Yes, Foster. *dramatically leaps down* *wraps an arm around her*

**Sophie**: *blushes*

**Cary: **Awwh! The Sokeefe is real!

**Fitz:** *grits teeth* *forces smile* Hey, Soph! Check THIS out! *jumps in front of a bull and wiggles bottom*

**Cary:** Oh crap. He's in trouble now.

**Sophie:** What the heck! Is he wearing red underpants?!

**Fitz:** Haha!- wait, what're you doing. NO! NO! Stop!- nonono! *grabs horns as bull runs around the barn*

**Cary:** Hehe. Karma feels good, doesn't it, Fitz?

**Keefe:** *chuckles* I feel like I should be sorry for him.

**Fitz**: Hey, no! Stop that! OWWW!

**Keefe**: ... Nah!

**Biana:** Come, my pigs! Let us celebrate the Fitz bashing! *robotically claps as Fitz is thrust against the barn wall, wedgied*

**Cary:** Hehe. React OVER!


	8. Blind React I

_**Blind React I  
**_

* * *

**Sophie:** *groan* What's this one gonna be about? It says blind react...? Like, does that mean it's a surprise?

**Cary:** *appears out of nowhere tossing and catching a blue lightsabre* Funny you ask...

**Sophie**: *gasps* Is that a lightsabre?!

**Cary**: *smirks* Yep.

**Sophie**: Oooooooooh my gosh! Can I touch it! Ooh ooh can I hold it? And most importantly can I try it out?!

**Cary**: The answers to your questions are no, nope, and not a chance!

**Sophie**: Aww man- WAIT. BY THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY ARE YOU BRINGING IN STAR WARS?!

**Cary**: Haha. Nope. *whispers* At least, not now.

**Sophie**: Ugh. *sits down in disappointment.*

**Cary**: *pats Sophie on the back* Hey now. It's okay. Because guess whaaat?

**Sophie**: *monotonously* What?

**Cary**: *glares* I'm not telling you until you stop talking like that.

**Sophie**: *drolly* Like what?

**Cary**: Like that.

**Sophie**: Like this?

**Cary**: No like that.

**Sophie**: Like that?

**Cary**: Yeah like that. Now stop talking like that and I'll reveal what the react's about.

**Sophie**: Why would I care about that anyways?

**Cary**: Seriously? The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can go cuddle with Keefe and-

**Sophie**: *blushes* Okay okay, we don't need the details.

**Cary**: Hmm. Thought so. Anyways *claps hands* guys, you can come out now.

_***Percy Jackson, Annabeth, Grover, and Leo walk out of the shadows***_

**Cary**: Thanks for the special effects, Tam.

**Tam**: No problem. *high fives Cary* *walks out*

**Sophie**: *is stunned* Wait how come you let him-

**Cary**: *smug* I can be nice y'know! If you cooperate nicely to my terms like Tam did.

**Sophie**: Ugh fine. What exactly am I reacting to?

**Cary**: Ah Sophie. It's not just you. Wonderboy and company, you can come out now.

_***Dex, Fitz, and Keefe walk out from the underground lake***_

**Sophie**: But how? When was that there- and-

**Cary**: Linh, my dudette.

**Linh**: *fist bumps*

**Cary**: Thanks for the cooperation.

**Linh**: No problem. But I am curious- you said this react would include a lot of debate over water?

**Cary**: Yep. If you wanna leave, Tam's out by the-

**Linh**: No thanks!

**Cary**: *faints* *gets up* Wow, first time someone ever actually wanted out!

**Linh**: *giggles* Yeah. But this time I wanna be able to talk to someone else about hydrokinesis. Like, I want to know he feels the pull of the water the same way as I do.

**Cary**: Sorry to break it to you, Linh, but... Percy already has a girlfriend. And he lives in a different fandom.

**Linh**: Hey that can't stop true love!

**Cary**: Yuh huh.

**Linh**: *small voice* That was hypothetical. I mean, I already love- *eyes widen*

**Cary**: Haha you were gonna say Wylie, right? *high fives self* Can't believe I'm saying this but... Let's just get to the introductions now, shall we? Percy, what up? This is Linh.

**Percy**: Hello, Linh? I hear you also have a certain control over the water.

**Linh**: *indignant* Control? The water and I are connected. Neither of us necessarily _controls_ the other.

**Percy**: Uh huh. Well, lemme show you how it's done, then! *claps hands* *tidal wave sweeps over everyone* *dusts off hands*

**Linh**: Ha, that's nothing.

**Percy**: Care to show me how it's done, then?

**Linh**: Duh! *closes eyes* W-

**Percy**: Boring! What are you even doing?

**Cary**: Hey, don't be a jerk. Linh needs to stay focused.

**Linh**: Thank you, Cary. Now stay quiet. *summons water from air*

**Percy**: Is that the best you can do?!

**Linh**: *glares* Definitely not.

**Cary**: Okay- I'll leave... you guys some privacy, I guess. Turning over to Keefe and Leo. Huh, I wonder how the energy's gonna be. Well, I'm guessing either they'll be really great besties or archenemies. *comes over to Leo and Keefe* Hey guys, what's- um, are you guys all right?

**Leo**: *grunts* Yeah!

**Keefe**: *strained voice* Yup.

**Cary**: A staring contest, really?

**Leo**: Well I'm the supreme bad boy mcshizzle.

**Keefe**: AND I'M LORD HUNKYHAIR!

**Leo**: but Leaf here-

**Keefe**: *through gritted teeth* I've told you, dolt, it's Keefe!

**Leo**: Leaf, Keefe, what's the difference?

**Keefe**: A LOT!

**Cary**: Yeah, um, I'll just go... oh, there's Dex and Annebeth. Crap, this isn't gonna go well...

**Annabeth**: How exactly is that logic?

**Dex**: No, I'm telling you-

**Annabeth**: It can't work like that! Jeez, ever heard of Newton's third law of motion?

**Dex**: *annoyed* Yeah, well, if your buddy pal Percy there can control water I think we're entitled to travel on light.

**Annabeth**: *rolls eyes* That's different. For one thing, demigods are a real thing whereas you're just some intellectual human-

**Dex**: I don't even have the words to tell you how disappointed you make me, Demitrash.

**Cary**: Woah woah woah there Dexy, calm down! Have some hot chocolate, maybe it-

**Dex**: *seethes* This girl has the nerve to insult the entire elvin race! I mean some of it is totally messed up, yeah, but she's basically spitting on everything that-

**Cary**: What is happening to everyone? At least Grover and Fitz seem to be getting along.

**Grover**: Checkmate. *takes king*

**Fitz**: Interesting. So you're telling me that the king is key to the entire game's result?

**Cary**: I guess fandoms just aren't meant to collide- wait, what? *rubs eyes* Are my eyes deceiving me? Are Linh and Percy... shaking hands?

**Percy**: You're pretty aware of the water.

**Linh**: Thanks. Your control is on point. *smiles*

**Cary**: Huh. And it looks like Annabeth finally accepted that elves are real and light leaping is a thing.

**Annabeth**: Fine. But how exactly do you guys have this kind of control over nature without any godly blood in you?

**Cary**: Well, mostly. Ah, everyone's getting along- Oh, wait, not. Of course Leo Valdez and Keefe Sencen just don't mix.

**Keefe and Leo:** *wrestle, poking each others' eyes out*

**Cary**: Aaaand that's it for this reacttt! Stay safe guys!


	9. Blind React II

_**Blind React II:**_

* * *

**Cary**: *bows head* Time, it is.

**Sophie**: sTaR wArS?

**Cary**: Yes!

**Sophie**: OMG IS LUKE HERE? DARTH VADER? OBI-WAN? OR LEIA? BOBA FETT? JAR JAR BINKS? HOW BOUT-

**Cary**: Uhh, no... but there is Chewbacca. *smiles* It's the best I could do.

**Sophie**: *deflates* Oh.

**Cary**: But we can have a lightsaber fight!

**Sophie**: YAYYYY! EVERYTHING I'VE EVER LIVED FOR LED UP TO THIS MOMENT!

**Cary**: *snaps fingers* Come, everybody!

_***Tam, Linh, Fitz, Keefe, Dex, Biana, and Mr. Forkle appear out of thin air***_

**Tam**: *in shorts and wearing a feather boa* Ugh. *whines* I thought you promised me two days without being bothered in exchange for the last react's cooperation. I was having fun.

**Linh**: WAS I HALLUCINATING OR DID TAM JUST SAY HE WAS HAVING FUN?

**Sophie**: NO, WE ALL HEARD IT!

**Biana**: *gasp* THE WORLD IS ENDING AS WE KNOW IT!

**Dex**: I'll pack the snacks.

**Keefe**: I'll dig us a hole to live in.

**Tam**: What? Guys, stop it.

**Cary**: But it's serious.

**Tam**: STOP! AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE REACTING RIGHT NOW?

**Cary**: *smirks* Yep. Chewbacca, it's butt-kicking time!

**Chewbacca**: *wields a lightsaber*

**Dex**: Cool laser swords!

**Sophie**: How dare you.

**Cary**: *glares* They're CALLED lightsabers. For that, I shouldn't be allowing you one.

**Dex**: *puppy eyes* Pwease? Dey seem do cool!

**Cary**: FINE! *grumbles* *hands out lightsabers to everyone*

**Tam**: *finally realizing he's been pranked* ...You're an evil mastermind.

**Cary**: *grins creepily* Tell me something I don't know. Speaking of which, *smiles* Happy April Fools Day! *airhorn sound* Anyways I'd write a react to that but I'm too lazy right now, and I'm not stopping this one to write it. Maybe later.

**Biana**: Bye bye fourth wall.

**Cary**: Biana, c'mon, be serious. We said goodbye a long time ago.

**Biana**: Oh right. You have a point.

**Cary**: Don't I? Anyways, here you go. *hands a blue lightsaber*

**Biana**: Aww, I wanted purple!

**Cary**: Um. There aren't purple lightsabers.

**Biana**: Fine. I'll make do with blue.

**Cary**: All right, everyone! Get readdyyyyy and FIGHT! TO! THE! DEATH!

**Chewbacca**: *somehow mystically gets the ability to speak coherently* Isn't that a little extreme?

**Cary**: Eh. Maybe. *watches from the sidelines*

**Chewbacca**: *still somehow can form complete words* Why aren't you fighting?

**Cary**: *eats popcorn* Let's just say when I hold a lightsaber, things tend to go a bit... well... you don't wanna know. *shudders*

**Chewbacca**: *can still talk* Oh okay. Can I have a Wookie?

**Cary**: No. But you can have some popcorn.

**Chewbacca**: Eww, heck nah! I'll pass.

**Cary**: Your loss. *munches on popcorn* GOO BIANA!

**Biana**: *in combat with Fitz* TAKE THAYYYYYT!

**Tam**: I GOT YOUR BACK, BIANA! *weird whirring sounds*

**Cary**: Aww. Wait. NO! iT cAn'T bE!

**Glitter**: IT IS!

**Cary**: WHAA? HOW? HOW?! I PUT UP SECURITY MEASURES!

**Glitter**: *disdainful* What, you mean the bags of Cheetos with the sunglasses on them?

**Cary**: YES! HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET PAST THEM?

**Glitter**: I- They're literally bags of Cheetos.

**Cary**: *sigh* Good point. I'll have to upgrade the security around here soon. *eats some more popcorn* Wanna watch with me and Chewbacca?

**Glitter**: Nah that's boring. Can I fight?

**Cary**: *shrugs* Who am I to say no? *snaps fingers* Here's your very own personal lightsaber. Use it wisely, young Jedi- aaand she's gone.

**Chewbacca**: *now suddenly can only speak in Chewbaccian again* Rwwwgggg.

**Cary**: You're right. Reaccct over!


End file.
